Why do you insist on calling???
knowing damn well I should be asleep,
Im already lost in disillusion trying to count these frickkin sheep..
Spare me the begging, the deceit, and harsh lies
Haven't you figured out I see straight through your cheap disguise?
Hold your tounge,
Dont waste your petty breathe-
I've told you before that I'm done,
dried up with nothing left..
So freeing was the feeling as I shut my weary phone
It's time for overdue silence-
It's time to walk this line ALONE.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Pitter Patter, FIzzle Dizzle-Apr 18,07
I sit as still & quiet as the darkened night around me. Restless & worn by a long day's beating.. what quarrels are keeping me from my slumber? what little pesky thought refuses to settle in the back of my mind??
Ah but if only the sheep would face their challange and jump the fence that keeps them from my counting...
1.....
2...
3 ... & it fizzles like an 89 pinto. I rev it! Yet it refuses to start... pitter patter. .. thunka dunk...
fuck it, where's the niquil??
A girl takes what she can get no?
Ah but if only the sheep would face their challange and jump the fence that keeps them from my counting...
1.....
2...
3 ... & it fizzles like an 89 pinto. I rev it! Yet it refuses to start... pitter patter. .. thunka dunk...
fuck it, where's the niquil??
A girl takes what she can get no?
Weaping Willow-Apr 16,07
I thought I was okay with you not being there, yet I fear my heart is saying something leaving my thoughts un-aware.
How could this be?? my grip I let go.. my emotions are at a stand still my feelings as cold as fallen snow.
The sun has risen, it warmed my heart..filled a void in a hole where you ripped it apart. Yet something is missing I can not quite tell, If I can find what's left I might find my diginity as well.
Pick up my feet, carry on I must..
dry my swollen eyes & shake off this settled dust..
This se-saw must stop tetter tottering my heart. I'm done! I'm done! For such petty things I am way too smart..
Known better have I to waste such precious time, as here I sit weaping & wallowing in ryhmn....
How could this be?? my grip I let go.. my emotions are at a stand still my feelings as cold as fallen snow.
The sun has risen, it warmed my heart..filled a void in a hole where you ripped it apart. Yet something is missing I can not quite tell, If I can find what's left I might find my diginity as well.
Pick up my feet, carry on I must..
dry my swollen eyes & shake off this settled dust..
This se-saw must stop tetter tottering my heart. I'm done! I'm done! For such petty things I am way too smart..
Known better have I to waste such precious time, as here I sit weaping & wallowing in ryhmn....
Hope-Apr 15,07
What is Hope? ...Wishful thinking? ...Foolish Thoughts? A Scapegoat from reality??? The fact we refuse to except the inevitable??
It's that raggid, worn out blanket we clutch during a storm thinking it will keep us safe from the ragging thunder around us. It's just a safe haven from those harsh realities we refuse to except.
What was I thinking to Hope once someone has left they will ever return??? What was I thinking to Hope a broken heart could be mended, shallow words could be burried and a fallen love rekindled???
Foolish was I. Foolish was a plan poorly thought out, impulsive non the less.
You will never change, How could you? People can change their ways yes, but the very essence of who they are? I think not. You will always be broken, just as you were left, you will never heal if you never dropped the knife that cuts you.
I once saw it worth saving, now I see it's just as old and worn as the rest of the junk in that dusty box, it's where it needed to be and it's where it will stay...
I am moving on, my life is going on...without you. Without this hurt, this pain and this guilt I have carried, that all stays in the box with you...with all those broken mistakes.
I'm Done.
It's that raggid, worn out blanket we clutch during a storm thinking it will keep us safe from the ragging thunder around us. It's just a safe haven from those harsh realities we refuse to except.
What was I thinking to Hope once someone has left they will ever return??? What was I thinking to Hope a broken heart could be mended, shallow words could be burried and a fallen love rekindled???
Foolish was I. Foolish was a plan poorly thought out, impulsive non the less.
You will never change, How could you? People can change their ways yes, but the very essence of who they are? I think not. You will always be broken, just as you were left, you will never heal if you never dropped the knife that cuts you.
I once saw it worth saving, now I see it's just as old and worn as the rest of the junk in that dusty box, it's where it needed to be and it's where it will stay...
I am moving on, my life is going on...without you. Without this hurt, this pain and this guilt I have carried, that all stays in the box with you...with all those broken mistakes.
I'm Done.
Clustered-Apr 03,07
I need space, room to breath, stretch my legs, think. I need somewhere I can go, somewhere that's mine, somewhere far, far away from here.
I need a hiatus. can next week not come fast enough?
I need a hiatus. can next week not come fast enough?
Spinning Circles-Mar 29, 07
There's an unspoken connection between you and I that I suppose only I could see. Or perhaps it's just wishful thinking on my part.
Silly, silly me!!!
Always so wishful! always wanting what I can't have which always leads me to forgetting I ever wanted anything with anyone at all.
Bitter? No.
Jaded? Maybe.
My heart is too big to push aside, to sit on a shelf collecting dust with the other things left behind & forgotten. I have tried and am doing so now, but doing this would be someone I am not.
Oie Vay, my head hurts and there's a looming fear that I have said way too much.....
Silly, silly me!!!
Always so wishful! always wanting what I can't have which always leads me to forgetting I ever wanted anything with anyone at all.
Bitter? No.
Jaded? Maybe.
My heart is too big to push aside, to sit on a shelf collecting dust with the other things left behind & forgotten. I have tried and am doing so now, but doing this would be someone I am not.
Oie Vay, my head hurts and there's a looming fear that I have said way too much.....
"Oie Vay" Mar 27,07
Ususally I awake in the morning with excitment, with anthusiasim for a new day, another experience, passion fueled by eagerness to get to work.
But today, it's different.. I'm left with the remanence of fragmented thoughts from yesturday.
Being criticized for someone else's foul mood. Constantly ridicueled like a kindergarden kid who couldn't color in the lines....
For once, Im not looking foward to going to work, I'm not feeling the overwheleming passion... Ah but perhaps that's life. It happens.
Suck it up. Man up & Move out.
(& yes I know I lack the skills of a sophisticated speller....I can get my thoughts across without accuracy can't I? haha.)
But today, it's different.. I'm left with the remanence of fragmented thoughts from yesturday.
Being criticized for someone else's foul mood. Constantly ridicueled like a kindergarden kid who couldn't color in the lines....
For once, Im not looking foward to going to work, I'm not feeling the overwheleming passion... Ah but perhaps that's life. It happens.
Suck it up. Man up & Move out.
(& yes I know I lack the skills of a sophisticated speller....I can get my thoughts across without accuracy can't I? haha.)
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