In the End.-Mar 06,08

Manipulation, fabrication, damnation, frustration....

They can resurrect a thousand words to deceive me, more and more, a thousands words will give the reason why I don't need this, anymore.

I don't have a cruel bone in my body, I was hardwired to help, not hurt. Not to convince the needy of needing anything BUT what they really need. Lies upon, lies, how does one live with themselves and the horrific corporate beast? Is money such a motive that would drive someone to give up dignity and integrity?
Honor. Courage. Commitment.

The Values I swore to protect & honor when took the Oath of the Navy before our country's flag, & although those days are long gone that oath will forever stay with me and everything I do.

Call me a bit dramatically if you will, but I see nothing honorary in the doings of my current employer. The only commitment I see are those committed to swallowing their own sense of dignity for a few dollars here and there. Forced to force non-sense down the throats of others, pushing, insisting like a pack of scowling wolves.

I am to the point of utter aggravation, annoyed with the fact that there are good hearted people out there that dedicate their lives to helping others, to assisting those that save lifes, cure illnesses, and fix aches. Others who work for barely nothing yet give more than any heartless salesman could ever offer. How is it that society has let this happen?

How is it that we are so driven by the dollar that we've blinded ourselves from what really matters.

Perhaps I am just a bit ill at the moment, but if you could only understand my frustrations. I chose to serve our country and defend the freedom of this great nation instead of the typical college route and where did this get me? what do I have to show besides a overwhelming sense of patriotism that most civilians are numb to?

absolutely nothing.

In the world of professionalism and black ties that means absolutely nothing.
So here I sit, exhausting route after route, option after option just trying to find that niche that works. I thought I could go the route of corporate America for a bit, save some money and go about my way, but it has become such a thorn in my side that I loath every day I have to return to that cold, cruel place.
I'm not meant to force feed bullshit to the unsuspected. I'm not meant to put on a fake smile and lie my way through a days work.

I'm meant to smile and tell you how it is, tell you what will help you, and cure what is hurting you. I'm meant to listen and respond.

... I'm done ranting for now, even though this probably all looks like a bunch of hooplah it served it's purpose to me. It reminds me of what matters to myself.
At the end of the day, nothing else matters, no one else went through the day with you, came home with you, and laid down to rest with you. At the end of the day there is only you, your thoughts and your instincts.
Mine are telling me to go.