On a whim of Spontaneity I tried my old Navy uniforms on tonight. My dress whites, working blues... Dress Blues.. everything I had kept neatly tucked away in a closet since that fateful Oct morning when I returned to civilian existence.
The truth of it all stung like a million bee stings, the truth of a dream fallen short. I fought back tears of reality as I sat there, eyes fixed on the reflection in the mirror.
Nostalgia hit like a freight train, quick, sudden & hard.
Why did it have to happen this way?
Why do I feel as if my purpose ceased to exist when my Naval career did?
I'm stuck in a past I can't escape. Stuck on a mistake poorly made, stuck on selling myself short.
Although things happen for a reason & I am thankful to be with my family again & to have met those in my life now, I can't help but think of the "what if's". I can't help the fact that I would give anything to be back in.
It was my calling. my purpose. my way of life.
Why was I so blind not to see I had it all in front of me?
As I hung my uniform bag back into the closet, a part of me died. A part that was hopelessly hanging on, hopelessly longing to return to a place I left so long ago.
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